Saturday, April 16, 2022

Whose opinion matters?

Nervousness, anxiety, embarrassment. We spend so much time with these emotions. They're like unwelcome friends following us through life; getting in the way and bringing us down. But why do we attract such friends? Perhaps because we have a desperate need to be liked; to have the approval of others. We ask ourselves, what if I screw up my presentation? What if my friends don't like my haircut? What if my dinner party falls flat? People will talk. People will judge. People will laugh. People, people, people. 

Who are these people that take such an interest in our small failings? Many of them are in our minds. We imagine what people might be thinking, while in reality they aren't thinking about us at all. Instead, they're thinking about themselves. We need not concern ourselves with their thoughts.

But what of the people who do notice? We place great weight on their thoughts. And yet, if we knew more about them, their respect might not matter to us. They might be nasty people with unsavory opinions about the world. If we knew them, we probably wouldn't like them. We needn't gain the respect of people who we, ourselves, don't respect.

So, whose respect should we seek? Whose opinion really matters? We should look to ourselves for answers to those questions. People will think whatever they want. We have no control over that. But we do have control over the strength of our own character. We should measure ourselves against our own integrity. What matters is our opinion of our own efforts to live a just and honorable life.

Live well. Impress yourself with your efforts and you will likely find that your presentation goes well; you like your haircut; and your dinner party is a success.