Saturday, May 14, 2022

Be your own best advisor


Bad things happen. And short-term problems can seem the most tragic. We catastrophize. I lost all my work when the computer crashed; my car won't start, so I'll never make it to my appointment; spilling that sauce ruined my only decent shirt. Why me? Life is so unfair. 

But when these things happen to other people, we have a different response. Our detachment helps put problems into perspective. We calmly remind our friend that the computer auto-saves; that a bus drives past every 10 minutes; that they have many other shirts. There are very few problems with no solution.

Perhaps it is part of the human condition to judge events more severely when they happen to ourselves rather than to other people. That's why it helps to practice detachment. We should try to remember how we respond when bad events happen to someone else. When you're faced with a difficult event, detach yourself. Imagine that it has happened to your friend. Then, give yourself the advice you would offer that friend. Be calm, and help yourself to put things into perspective. Be your own best advisor.