tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50037285546744744792024-03-05T17:31:31.189-08:00Cafe PhilosophyThese are the meditations and dialogues of a contemporary incarnation of Socrates, as composed by Brent SilbyBrent Silbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07754865837015410771noreply@blogger.comBlogger143125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003728554674474479.post-76269886814190071532024-01-16T14:48:00.000-08:002024-01-16T14:48:54.115-08:00Winning at life<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh3h4oOfUKCe4wCIOFh3pax5bUYb_KGaiaKFFJMPRoB88aXCsAAEaZL462nlfDIeiKKEoj-9OIqtciBkPuoW3v6OSKJ_RIjehOZmRjYcxy6EHQbgWopdfQAXSbiFhvgS9r_ZtWVOsuf6p_FOR1fqW1e8yb4MtKz-T5G6lPShRGRO26WrKMhMQnEu35yGxu/s1024/_9e8e097d-c8a3-4ed6-9c54-f4534be41b54.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="1024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh3h4oOfUKCe4wCIOFh3pax5bUYb_KGaiaKFFJMPRoB88aXCsAAEaZL462nlfDIeiKKEoj-9OIqtciBkPuoW3v6OSKJ_RIjehOZmRjYcxy6EHQbgWopdfQAXSbiFhvgS9r_ZtWVOsuf6p_FOR1fqW1e8yb4MtKz-T5G6lPShRGRO26WrKMhMQnEu35yGxu/s320/_9e8e097d-c8a3-4ed6-9c54-f4534be41b54.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /> My friends, have you noticed how often we hear people talking of ‘winners’ and ‘losers’ in life? It seems that many people consider life to be a game that can be won or lost. And when someone ‘wins’, we often deem that win to be well deserved. For example, people may say that the rich deserve their wealth. And I suppose people may also claim that the poor deserve their place in life.<br /><br />But is this true? Can you win and lose at life? Is life akin to a game? In ancient Greece, people didn’t speak that way. If someone was poor, people wouldn’t think of them as losing at life. Instead they would suggest that the will of Tyche, the god of fortune, had not been working in their favor. The Romans also had a god of fortune. Her name was Fortuna. She was depicted as holding a tiller by which she could shift one’s fortune. Because her actions were totally out of our control, people would suggest that the poor were ‘unfortunate’ rather than losers at life.<br /><br />Perhaps people who consider life a game will find this a strange way of talking. But it does depend upon what sort of game they consider life to be. Is it a game with well defined rules in which a person can win or lose by using their skill and intellect? Is life, for example, like a game of chess? If so, it may make sense to speak of winners and losers. After all, we wouldn’t hesitate to say that the winner of a chess game deserves their win. To win they must have played better than their opponent. And, of course, we presume that they started the game with an equal number of pieces, and that they both played by the same rules.<br /><br />Would we use the same language to describe someone winning at a game of chance — for example, a slot machine or lottery? Would we suggest that someone who wins the lottery deserves the win? I don’t even think the word ‘win’ in games of chance means quite the same thing as it does in a game of chess. There is no skill involved in a game of chance. The outcome is totally in the hands of fortuna. I wonder if life is more like this than we care to believe.<br /><br />Of course, we do need certain skills in life. But much of what happens in life is well beyond our control — including our position at birth. Is it not true that fortuna decides who is wealthy and who is poor at birth? And is it not true that this starting position can have a massive impact on a person’s life? If so, it would seem incorrect to suggest that a poor person is losing at life and deserve their position (if by ‘losing’ we mean in the sense of a game of chess rather than a game of chance).<br /><br />I am interested in what would happen in society if we shifted our language. Rather than speaking of winners and losers in life, shall we instead speak of those who are fortunate and those who are less fortunate. Seeing things in this way may prompt those who are fortunate to help the unfortunate more so than if they truly think they deserve to be ‘winning’ at life.<p></p><p>- Socrates (21c)<br /></p>Brent Silbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07754865837015410771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003728554674474479.post-53549867546830005652024-01-03T17:51:00.000-08:002024-01-03T17:51:09.206-08:00Measure one's worth<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK6q1t-Qtwz183GwwbkWVCGNyPD2zL7O-bXEPpEiI3CgVDpeVJ9nc_3sPHEPYM6Rd_z6dhH9-LACSeQk1lcd5XB4VHyYMgwUMPl7qpsqTQr6coQBDgc3UY0tS3cm0qv44csYhTLF8RzB3n6LOAMU0hPgDrBxHaEXBOjbxlKnclNRoBZdAcjGrDAuWULLiw/s1024/_d65681be-32fa-4d8c-a7b1-5baff5696ccf.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="1024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK6q1t-Qtwz183GwwbkWVCGNyPD2zL7O-bXEPpEiI3CgVDpeVJ9nc_3sPHEPYM6Rd_z6dhH9-LACSeQk1lcd5XB4VHyYMgwUMPl7qpsqTQr6coQBDgc3UY0tS3cm0qv44csYhTLF8RzB3n6LOAMU0hPgDrBxHaEXBOjbxlKnclNRoBZdAcjGrDAuWULLiw/s320/_d65681be-32fa-4d8c-a7b1-5baff5696ccf.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>We crave the approval of others. This seems to be part of the human condition. Everyone wants to be liked, and what better signs of approval are there than applause, trophies, and certificates? We finish our performance and glow as the crowd claps their hands. We adorn our shelves with our hard-won trophies and decorate our walls with certificates that prove our worthiness. All symbols of approval.<br /><br />But after the crowd leaves the auditorium, their applause is nothing but a memory—an echo lost in time. Our certificates fade in the sun, slowly degrading to nothing. And our trophies tarnish as the years pass.<br /><br />What does this tell us? Should we conclude that the approval of others is not worth seeking? Not at all. We need social relationships, and approval is better than disapproval or mere indifference. But we should put things in perspective. Aim to be the best person you can be, regardless of awards or applause. External validation does not last, and a life pursuing them for their own sake will never bring contentment. After all, there's always another certificate to be hung on the wall, and we may ask how many are required for fulfillment. Do they really matter?<br /><br />Perhaps we should remind ourselves that happiness can be found in our actions rather than pieces of paper.<br /><p></p>Brent Silbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07754865837015410771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003728554674474479.post-46388346621774881322023-12-27T17:13:00.000-08:002023-12-27T17:17:53.808-08:00Care for the soul<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzGg87NiLenwdJXo5Kt5Rw_Z-qGRARoTCaR-b0HXY_e1_DybQ-5ijwwLQWPpMAIZC0CFOD0oB8vz_ROUcKxQ9nGMlx5OeTY1t0TCtetOx0bcF-AXRyTv6auMX-ONkmjkav_0XWOaUcT-yhz4SgbHNizTy7c2eCyWSWwp6NQ32xZCye2VY4buuU60g6ozaK/s1024/_34fefb6f-516a-40f5-bf73-75a93b49cae9.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="1024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzGg87NiLenwdJXo5Kt5Rw_Z-qGRARoTCaR-b0HXY_e1_DybQ-5ijwwLQWPpMAIZC0CFOD0oB8vz_ROUcKxQ9nGMlx5OeTY1t0TCtetOx0bcF-AXRyTv6auMX-ONkmjkav_0XWOaUcT-yhz4SgbHNizTy7c2eCyWSWwp6NQ32xZCye2VY4buuU60g6ozaK/s320/_34fefb6f-516a-40f5-bf73-75a93b49cae9.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>My friend, have you noticed how much care we take when walking? Rightly so! After all, a foot, though small, carries us through the world. So, we avoid stepping on nails, and we walk around mud puddles. We protect this valuable possession. Yet, when it comes to the soul (or character), are we not just as vulnerable to missteps?<p></p><p>Is it not true, my friend, that as we walk through life, we risk stepping into superstitions, or tripping on fears that lie hidden in our path? Biases can cling to us like mud. Xenophobia, prejudice, and greed lurk around every corner, ready to damage our character, turning us into the very monsters we despise.</p><p>Insofar as it makes sense to watch our steps to avoid damaging our feet, should we not also tread carefully with our souls? Let us examine the paths we walk in life, the beliefs we hold, and the words we speak. For the unexamined life is not worth living. But the examined life can improve the worthiness of our character, and this can lead to a more just world.</p><p>- S<br /></p>Brent Silbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07754865837015410771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003728554674474479.post-48235921842238651392023-06-17T14:55:00.004-07:002023-06-17T14:59:41.013-07:00Your Call to Adventure<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqvaR3Q3s1c7ahtdh_K-3D4lA8iPhDielgMNtvWumh64GJuVclAwLn1wW6mLK7z8hFZ3QexJNE90R6o_6U6b8EvSEGeHCRfTtxiaPBXFyhBjzZ1RgA7AnlsaeA45U4hEbYYR4jLqzjPoVZMtg9ZXtG5oYNU_R5a_QRiHhYoPSwTplXGGdUwIfbizHnGw/s1568/dream_TradingCard.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1568" data-original-width="960" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqvaR3Q3s1c7ahtdh_K-3D4lA8iPhDielgMNtvWumh64GJuVclAwLn1wW6mLK7z8hFZ3QexJNE90R6o_6U6b8EvSEGeHCRfTtxiaPBXFyhBjzZ1RgA7AnlsaeA45U4hEbYYR4jLqzjPoVZMtg9ZXtG5oYNU_R5a_QRiHhYoPSwTplXGGdUwIfbizHnGw/s320/dream_TradingCard.jpg" width="196" /></a></div><span face="Poppins, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="background-color: white;"><br /><div>Living is rough, like traveling across the sea. One minute all is calm, but then the storm sets in, and we get thrown about as the waves force us dangerously close to the jagged rocks of the shoreline.</div><div><br /></div><div>How can we cope with the ups and downs of life? Should we hide? Should we avoid challenges? Some of the best stories involve heroes who accept the call to adventure. They don't hide. They assess the risks and take on the challenges of life. We can do this too. If we keep a steady mind, develop a strong sense of self, and build inner peace, we can become the adventurers in our own story.</div><div><br /></div><div>Accept the call to adventure. Be your own hero.</div></span>Brent Silbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07754865837015410771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003728554674474479.post-91958855465106864842023-01-19T12:01:00.005-08:002023-01-19T12:07:36.113-08:00Live as if your life is a gift<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2cj02VNKdmyJEpbawJ0aEwZ5dLybuUSxpLBJan_5cT5DBeA9Bp3DtMEwzJo7MgabHGWKmUMPAOFS1ulu2gozGPKjuT5hqlD0hM4zxTIPQ_ZKCjPwX-AKrre5TMqMaUvtyha3sXYavkS8T5GUj2o-srbQ-VUfN5-Mx6Oh_O_qbq2m_ryCAoAtW_Di9Lg/s1568/sunrise.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1568" data-original-width="960" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2cj02VNKdmyJEpbawJ0aEwZ5dLybuUSxpLBJan_5cT5DBeA9Bp3DtMEwzJo7MgabHGWKmUMPAOFS1ulu2gozGPKjuT5hqlD0hM4zxTIPQ_ZKCjPwX-AKrre5TMqMaUvtyha3sXYavkS8T5GUj2o-srbQ-VUfN5-Mx6Oh_O_qbq2m_ryCAoAtW_Di9Lg/s320/sunrise.jpg" width="196" /></a></div><br /><p>Imagine that you died this morning. All has come to an end. No more music; no more friendship or love; no more thought. It is gone. </p><p>But, now imagine that by some miracle you are granted bonus time. You have your life back. How will you live it now? By arguing with strangers online? By spending countless hours at a job you don’t like? By obsessing over the accumulation of wealth? </p><p>Perhaps a second chance would shift your focus to other priorities. Think about what they might be and live your life well.</p>Brent Silbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07754865837015410771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003728554674474479.post-34063329774379396142023-01-16T14:57:00.004-08:002023-01-16T17:18:12.413-08:00Happiness - Short dialogue<p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-6mLgqVJdyYqY2hvFC1skZAnscm8lMrj9eyveu7DhDrLZY7lLyUxetgAFh11JRCNds-AwG40VlqDbqrCrSi_nIGOgop7gyg2tefEO6frPtWNDtfL8iZ7wtU5OxnwOJXAhjxOXD8JOGnVCdXY2sO62v3ezPSDh0qjJVZt9e7qbXnRLXqOjsKEXfXEfpQ/s1568/Socrates.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1568" data-original-width="960" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-6mLgqVJdyYqY2hvFC1skZAnscm8lMrj9eyveu7DhDrLZY7lLyUxetgAFh11JRCNds-AwG40VlqDbqrCrSi_nIGOgop7gyg2tefEO6frPtWNDtfL8iZ7wtU5OxnwOJXAhjxOXD8JOGnVCdXY2sO62v3ezPSDh0qjJVZt9e7qbXnRLXqOjsKEXfXEfpQ/s320/Socrates.jpg" width="196" /></a></div><br /><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Times;"><br /></span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 10pt;">OSCAR</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;">: Socrates, Socrates, slow down. Give me a chance to catch up. Where are you going in such a hurry?<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 10pt;">SOCRATES</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;">: It is good to see you, my friend. I am on my way to listen to a political rhetorician. There is an election coming up, and I am eager to hear what the politicians have to say.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 10pt;">OSCAR</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;">: May I join you? I would like to talk.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 10pt;">SOCRATES</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;">: My fine fellow. You know I will never turn down an opportunity to dialogue. What’s on your mind?<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 10pt;">OSCAR</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;">: I have been thinking about our recent conversations concerning happiness and wealth. You said that “money can’t buy happiness”, but I think that is not true. I think money can buy happiness.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 10pt;">SOCRATES</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;">: That is an interesting thought, Oscar. I would very much like to learn more. Can you provide an example to support your claim?<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 10pt;">OSCAR</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;">: Certainly I can. I have bought a new TV, a phone, a laptop, a painting, a Lego model, and a great many other things that have made me happy.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 10pt;">SOCRATES</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;">: Would you mind showing me one of your products, so that I may see the happiness for myself?<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 10pt;">OSCAR</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;">: Well, it so happens that I have one here in my backpack. I am taking it to show a friend.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;">[They stop walking and Oscar carefully pulls a Lego model from his bag]<o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 10pt;">OSCAR</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;">: Here you go, Socrates. Take a look at this model.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;">[Socrates examines the model]<o:p></o:p></span></i></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 10pt;">SOCRATES</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;">: Can you confirm that this is an example of money buying happiness?<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 10pt;">OSCAR</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;">: Yes, indeed it is.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 10pt;">SOCRATES</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;">: I must be blind in my old age. Can you please show me? Can you point to the happiness?<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 10pt;">OSCAR</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;">: What do you mean?<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 10pt;">SOCRATES</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;">: You claim that this is an example of happiness which you have bought with money. Well, where is it? All I see is a collection of plastic bricks. Can you point to the ‘happiness’ that you’ve purchased?<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 10pt;">OSCAR</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;">: Are you acting deliberately foolish, Socrates? I can’t point to it. It’s a feeling. An experience. I felt a sense of happiness while working with the bricks.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 10pt;">SOCRATES</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;">: Is this feeling guaranteed when someone buys bricks?<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 10pt;">OSCAR</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;">: No, of course not.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 10pt;">SOCRATES</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;">: Ah, I understand. So, would you agree that happiness is not a thing contained in the bricks. It comes from the person using the bricks—in this case, you?<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 10pt;">OSCAR</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;">: It is as you say, Socrates.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 10pt;">SOCRATES</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;">: It seems, then, that money can buy pieces of plastic but not happiness itself. Something more is required to achieve happiness. Perhaps you could experience the same level of happiness by stacking pebbles or building sandcastles. Happiness is not a property of any of these things. Rather, it is a thing you create for yourself.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 10pt;">OSCAR</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13pt;">: I must agree with your assessment Socrates. Perhaps you are right, after all. Money alone is no guarantee of happiness.<o:p></o:p></span></p>Brent Silbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07754865837015410771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003728554674474479.post-64468336287641290592022-12-29T13:49:00.001-08:002022-12-29T13:49:20.310-08:00Action in the new year<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlr2-7IxuRXVUVGHxeAK-F21ynam-gttgn645bwxax36aGnZbbv0fJrkBdLZVUuLl-g7IBkgCnUUu5rSggAO64AamVqiRmlc4A7F8ISzcOWp5RimSV2X-mr0gS8dwJfdeWee8tezbzw9HYrbE-CCFwT0XGE5VPaf1KEj55Yfwg0I7b7mN-q5e8-tWgfg/s2048/aa640f64-9e49-4cc8-adca-6abc2e4c39ac.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlr2-7IxuRXVUVGHxeAK-F21ynam-gttgn645bwxax36aGnZbbv0fJrkBdLZVUuLl-g7IBkgCnUUu5rSggAO64AamVqiRmlc4A7F8ISzcOWp5RimSV2X-mr0gS8dwJfdeWee8tezbzw9HYrbE-CCFwT0XGE5VPaf1KEj55Yfwg0I7b7mN-q5e8-tWgfg/s320/aa640f64-9e49-4cc8-adca-6abc2e4c39ac.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p>2022 is coming to an end. As we enter the year 2023, we can be forgiven for thinking that things look rather bleak. The latest climate change forecasts are worrying. The pandemic continues to affect us as the virus evolves. And the war doesn’t seem to be coming to a quick end. </p><p>Will things get better? Perhaps. Perhaps not. Time will tell. Still, we may ask ourselves, has there ever been a time in human history where we haven’t faced serious challenges? It seems that difficulty is nothing new. And we have, in the past, overcome our problems, so perhaps we will also solve our current issues. But we will not solve them with inaction.</p><p>Some people think our problems are too large. They think their individual actions cannot make an impact. Of course, if everyone thought that way, nothing would change. It is true that individuals cannot change the world, but they can make an influence - even if small. And collectively, these small influences can amount to a big result.</p><p>Some people think they needn’t bother because the scientists have got it all wrong. This is possible. After all, scientists have been wrong in the past. Though it seems unlikely in this case. Regardless, this thought shouldn’t compel us to relax and do nothing. The possibility, even if small, that scientists are right, should compel us to act. Why? Because the stakes are so high and the cost of acting is very low. It is far better to take low cost action now, and then find out that it was not needed than do nothing, and later discover that we have missed our opportunity and have a massive cost to pay - perhaps the cost of our very existence.</p><p>So, what can we do? Don’t wait for business to change. Business responds to the market. It follows the lead of people. Don’t wait for governments to change. They too follow the lead of the people. We can guide business and government by making small adjustments to our own lives. It may be as simple as eating less meat, or switching to a fuel-efficient car - even an electric car. Or taking public transport. This is a key to stoic philosophy. Focus on your own sphere of control. Then you know that you have done what you can.</p>Brent Silbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07754865837015410771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003728554674474479.post-82356259468100235872022-12-26T23:34:00.003-08:002022-12-26T23:34:40.449-08:00Immortality - Will I be remembered?<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/mwUFCKSmdFc" width="320" youtube-src-id="mwUFCKSmdFc"></iframe></div><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto" style="border: 0px; caret-color: rgb(15, 15, 15); color: #0f0f0f; font-family: Roboto, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><p><span class="style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto" style="border: 0px; caret-color: rgb(15, 15, 15); color: #0f0f0f; font-family: Roboto, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></p>Short reading from my Stoic Philosophy blog in which I write under the name of a fictional incarnation of Socrates. This piece is a reminder to focus on being a just and virtuous person in the present rather than focusing on the possibility of posthumous fame.
Music excerpt: Mozart's 40th symphony in G minor, Second movement (Andante), performed by the Musopen Symphony
For more stoic advice, follow: </span><a class="yt-simple-endpoint style-scope yt-formatted-string" dir="auto" href="https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbnNCVHNiU2pwbkJ4MXBTRFNGMUFoalJtTTk3QXxBQ3Jtc0tsYzJrb3FUODIySjZjN2s1M3VIWjl6Wkx0RXFMdkNoQldsbWUzTlRPSkR3OWhpdW1sTDcxSGoxVEJRc0d6aU1rX2RNTnIxVzRiRG1PbXpCTjQ5anNyMTJMRGd1TjZHX3JsOWdMcFNRcHlaT3NkM3Byaw&q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FSocrates21C%2F&v=mwUFCKSmdFc" rel="nofollow" spellcheck="false" style="-webkit-text-decoration: var(--yt-endpoint-text-regular-decoration,none); color: var(--yt-endpoint-visited-color,var(--yt-spec-call-to-action)); cursor: pointer; display: var(--yt-endpoint-display,inline-block); font-family: Roboto, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-decoration: var(--yt-endpoint-text-regular-decoration,none); white-space: pre-wrap; word-break: var(--yt-endpoint-word-break,none); word-wrap: var(--yt-endpoint-word-wrap,none);" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/Socrates21C/</a><p></p>Brent Silbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07754865837015410771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003728554674474479.post-19424529167849005312022-12-20T11:46:00.002-08:002022-12-20T11:46:27.418-08:00What are you waiting for?<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjVU6hSg0lMkvRCO4Cd0cH7i1hp1z5I2HTfqYNnsK3b-w-uSNQqAIiGERgEsGzZBkqiaaepL19zti9BcqJQdndBGDBdhITqQgwNt8ESGL27RrbPKyWKzqO5DN-mtlQ4Xyzp-jWjgFPHj5DfdD-LEKutXU-VYPdY8szGx1QYnQiWHKNKUxef71Lxu2ALg/s1882/Time.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1882" data-original-width="1408" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjVU6hSg0lMkvRCO4Cd0cH7i1hp1z5I2HTfqYNnsK3b-w-uSNQqAIiGERgEsGzZBkqiaaepL19zti9BcqJQdndBGDBdhITqQgwNt8ESGL27RrbPKyWKzqO5DN-mtlQ4Xyzp-jWjgFPHj5DfdD-LEKutXU-VYPdY8szGx1QYnQiWHKNKUxef71Lxu2ALg/s320/Time.png" width="239" /></a></div><p></p><p>Why do we wait? Our plans, big and small, often get put aside while we wait for a better time. Even simple acts like telling our children, parents, or spouse that we love them seem to be postponed until the time is right. We make excuses and promise that we'll do it tomorrow. Or next week. Or next year. As if we have all the time in the world. But we don't have all the time in the world, do we? Time inevitably slips away, and we find ourselves regretting the missed opportunity. If only I wrote that book. If only I tried that new job. If only I had told them how much I love them.</p><p>So, what are you waiting for? Now is the best time, because tomorrow may never come.</p>Brent Silbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07754865837015410771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003728554674474479.post-22440695138137003962022-12-18T13:45:00.000-08:002022-12-18T13:45:19.794-08:00Short introduction<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dyMvyKWIpQsgaYTSr_RaItx6iXNScfh20wub8jmAJa-sTL2PTq0S37RZN4hb_TKTXHS80nsNo4BusuQKhDE-A' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>This is a short introduction from Brent, the writer of this blog.<p></p>Brent Silbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07754865837015410771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003728554674474479.post-33813701325206636982022-12-10T11:39:00.004-08:002022-12-10T11:39:30.606-08:00Plans change. Get used to it.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh75zGrkX2zWeyulDSW86kD2UrtNd6i2A-wHWomKzBi6BBRXOX2dcgofc-xrqwa3cyVVugO1DhB777czIO0VKdEi_vczxZHDuJbblaDGUjPFF8sDcyy3N2gz-8vJbAXAelJuB61sR1NieXOwxeAg8Hg84d8jKztEqJVcmMQRrN_2YmKZrQnlJKT0u93Bg/s2048/plans_change.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh75zGrkX2zWeyulDSW86kD2UrtNd6i2A-wHWomKzBi6BBRXOX2dcgofc-xrqwa3cyVVugO1DhB777czIO0VKdEi_vczxZHDuJbblaDGUjPFF8sDcyy3N2gz-8vJbAXAelJuB61sR1NieXOwxeAg8Hg84d8jKztEqJVcmMQRrN_2YmKZrQnlJKT0u93Bg/s320/plans_change.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p>Plans change! Get used to it.</p><p>As organized beings, we love order. We plan trips, dinner dates, and quiet nights in, to read a good book. But unexpected events often get in the way. Perhaps you are called in to work to cover for someone who is unwell, so you postpone your trip. Your friend may have a personal issue, which means you need to cancel your dinner date. Then, as you settle in to your quiet night at home, your family pays a surprise visit. Your plans change again.</p><p>Our plans are based on the assumption that the world is predictable. And, indeed it is. Events in nature unfold with a precise regularity. The future can be said to resemble the past. This fact allows us to predict the seasons, the orbits of the planets, and even the positions of the most distant stars. However, the human realm is rather less predictable than the rest of nature. Given the complex interplay between our beliefs, desires, and interpersonal relationships, we should not be surprised that our plans are always subject to change.</p><p>So, how should we respond to unexpected changes to our plans? Should we get angry? Should we curse other people? Should we stop making plans altogether? Not at all. We should calmly accept that some events are out of control. Embrace the change. Make new plans, and accept that they too are likely to change.</p>Brent Silbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07754865837015410771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003728554674474479.post-14137498347403817492022-12-02T13:17:00.002-08:002022-12-02T13:17:41.250-08:00Amor Fati<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilhlC80EifimVlxIhwdzo52yaMpEOx53EB6uWJjYW9AW0mPmCGKXwKmNFcpP5zxLjf9WyxXlYhQYKg9oLlTpWE34EKOIm05wsn5a7J_Iazu2gA74-BM_4zyfvamAvEgmiECtbXmYCSYC81hsmIpA23nT-tw-IVCwuEVV231_NBMCVZ1deGodp81BzguA/s2048/1_cd429541-9c5e-47c7-b33b-df935d8d3ca8_1024x10242x.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1579" data-original-width="2048" height="247" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilhlC80EifimVlxIhwdzo52yaMpEOx53EB6uWJjYW9AW0mPmCGKXwKmNFcpP5zxLjf9WyxXlYhQYKg9oLlTpWE34EKOIm05wsn5a7J_Iazu2gA74-BM_4zyfvamAvEgmiECtbXmYCSYC81hsmIpA23nT-tw-IVCwuEVV231_NBMCVZ1deGodp81BzguA/s320/1_cd429541-9c5e-47c7-b33b-df935d8d3ca8_1024x10242x.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p>We've all had those days where nothing goes according to plan. Perhaps you've arranged a dinner friends. It starts out well, but then you find you've left your wallet at home. So, you turn back. Then you have a flat tire. So you change it. Then you arrive at the restaurant to find that it is closed. </p><p>Is there any point in complaining about these things? Should you curse your car or yell at the restaurant door? Doing so will change nothing, so there is little point in wasting your energy.</p><p>We prefer things to be a certain way. But the universe has no obligation to satisfy our preferences. Things happen - bad and good. Of course, we make every attempt to avoid the bad. However, we should remember that much of what happens in the world is beyond our control. We must therefore make the best of what fortune presents us. Amor Fati! Embrace life's challenges. This is how we reach our human potential.</p>Brent Silbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07754865837015410771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003728554674474479.post-85979957892459957932022-11-05T16:53:00.006-07:002022-11-05T16:53:49.539-07:00<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPB5K6ci_UxtHlIRFVNrMCMCZYk3wW1DO-Qtgg5xJa9-JfQChA40-PXA1Nw9dKpnz8PqBROeyvU8lUkutIfYAZZCGTTPgaLNIuqNOeweEZ2wB2X_QtriGQBnkV2ncyvdHPIkD1iIqGLDUVu35JUaIRNhfCv4UGDb6iRyOie559xer2bB79DcI8yK_d1w/s2199/gossip%20pic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1111" data-original-width="2199" height="162" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPB5K6ci_UxtHlIRFVNrMCMCZYk3wW1DO-Qtgg5xJa9-JfQChA40-PXA1Nw9dKpnz8PqBROeyvU8lUkutIfYAZZCGTTPgaLNIuqNOeweEZ2wB2X_QtriGQBnkV2ncyvdHPIkD1iIqGLDUVu35JUaIRNhfCv4UGDb6iRyOie559xer2bB79DcI8yK_d1w/s320/gossip%20pic.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />We are judgemental beings. Our nature drives us to form opinions about other people, and then to spread those opinions to anyone who has the time to listen. And there is certainly no shortage of ears, eager to hear the next juicy piece of information. We seem to be addicted to speaking about the affairs of others. <p></p><p>But often this talk amounts to nothing more than rumor, innuendo, or gossip. This is surely not worthy of our time. So, when offered information about another person, we should first ask: Are you certain that what you want to tell me is true? We should then ask, is your statement going to be good or kind? Finally, we should ask, is it necessary that I know this piece of information?</p><p>If the information on offer is neither true, nor kind, or is unnecessary to know, we should tell the purveyor of gossip to please say nothing at all.</p>Brent Silbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07754865837015410771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003728554674474479.post-39887781297446345782022-10-08T16:59:00.000-07:002022-10-08T16:59:05.075-07:00Rights vs Duties<p>One of the big changes we've seen over the last hundred years is the shift from our sense of duty to a push for our individual rights. There was a time at which we asked ourselves: What should I do to make society better? This question has, for many, been replaced with a new question: What should society do to make things better for me? This change in ideology has been particularly evident over the last few years.</p><p>Despite this, we still hear the thoughts of past generations echo through the decades. During his Inaugural Address in 1961, John F. Kennedy challenged the people of the United States to contribute to the public good. His famous words, “Ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your country,” encouraged people to work towards making society better for all. </p><p>We might ask ourselves which approach will lead to a more just and flourishing society. If we focus on how our actions can make society better for all people, then we may see improved equity, tolerance, and kindness. If, on the other hand, we focus on our individual rights, and thus make demands on society, we may find an increase in conflict and inequality. This could come as a result of putting one's rights first, above the common good, and above other people's needs. After all, clashes often result from people's rights coming into conflict.</p><p>This is not to say that we should abandon our rights. They are, after all, the cornerstone of our sense of freedom and justice. Rather, it is to say that we need to strike a balance and ask ourselves, how can we make the world a better place for all? By focusing on the common good, or focusing on ourselves? The answer may be found in Gandhi's 1947 observation that "all rights to be deserved and preserved came from duty well done. Thus the very right to live accrues to us only when we do the duty of citizenship of the world."</p><p>Perhaps in addition to our Universal Declaration of Human Rights, we also need a Universal Declaration of Human Duties.</p>Brent Silbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07754865837015410771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003728554674474479.post-34181419675986270742022-10-01T15:53:00.002-07:002022-10-02T01:24:29.340-07:00Loss of control<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOkQTXJjeGJMqDCdc7qbvQC7mPpyywPdPk4TXse4z-PardClDE8xfRitTcFvt3h1elNAKqfjOC0iXS_qMWyga9nzeWMu-viOEQZaraomiRUEvvf7wA8j2-d9cZLTG_x72UKZalBoFggUqlzmRwCef0QDLvCGIlYKoNTbnSoEywFJTptw_Zlsxe4eCTYA/s2000/32301184-28a5-4e7f-887d-31337ef09a37_1.7a2421a2600bae0468df1fc0e86ab86c.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2000" data-original-width="2000" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOkQTXJjeGJMqDCdc7qbvQC7mPpyywPdPk4TXse4z-PardClDE8xfRitTcFvt3h1elNAKqfjOC0iXS_qMWyga9nzeWMu-viOEQZaraomiRUEvvf7wA8j2-d9cZLTG_x72UKZalBoFggUqlzmRwCef0QDLvCGIlYKoNTbnSoEywFJTptw_Zlsxe4eCTYA/s320/32301184-28a5-4e7f-887d-31337ef09a37_1.7a2421a2600bae0468df1fc0e86ab86c.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><div>We like order in our lives. It gives us a sense of control, and thus provides a feeling of security. Unexpected problems, or mistakes, can be extremely unsettling. You may wake up late and find that your alarm clock has malfunctioned. Or perhaps your phone failed to charge overnight. Or maybe someone else is taking an early shower - at the very time you use it every morning. The frustration over such simple events can sometimes be overwhelming and lead us to curse the chaotic nature of the world.</div><div><br /></div><div>But the world is an ordered, deterministic system. We simply have a limited sphere of control. The complex interweaving of events and interpersonal relationships can give the appearance of chaos simply because we cannot keep track of it all. We must keep in mind that unexpected events will always occur, and that our response to such events should be in proportion to their significance. Your life will not be ruined just because you overslept. You don't necessarily need a fully charged phone. Skip your shower and enjoy the benefit of a little extra time in the morning.</div><div><br /></div><div>Feeling like we have lost control can be frustrating, but only because we expect to have complete control. Accepting that many things are beyond our control can help temper our response to unexpected events.</div>Brent Silbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07754865837015410771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003728554674474479.post-56801296438260228592022-09-16T15:45:00.004-07:002022-09-16T15:45:32.332-07:00It's all temporary<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL9F0NVIsIhD5SFHxuLZAO7W2uTKYo2GV3Botw3jJM1g_iDsFjTuLVZ8L_HqomjB7JrNSq5oaxEgFsYAJbeVHdHHWipGIdnQirqppd3u6mZwM-XNVZHMe0FsEPNa5TwQEqXMARCSSUoOtksCVweTy5VvKoy8oEKDCrTmvTUJ7gh3hhqMfBAanNN_RGew/s2048/image.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL9F0NVIsIhD5SFHxuLZAO7W2uTKYo2GV3Botw3jJM1g_iDsFjTuLVZ8L_HqomjB7JrNSq5oaxEgFsYAJbeVHdHHWipGIdnQirqppd3u6mZwM-XNVZHMe0FsEPNa5TwQEqXMARCSSUoOtksCVweTy5VvKoy8oEKDCrTmvTUJ7gh3hhqMfBAanNN_RGew/s320/image.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p>It’s all temporary. The tasks at which we work so hard to complete. The joy and pain of raising our children. The applause we receive for our excellent performances. The heated arguments we have with co-workers. Our successes. Our failures. They're all temporary.</p><p>When we feel anxious about day-to-day matters, we should remember that this moment in time will soon be gone. All things come to an end. Humanity; Earth; the Solar System and Milky Way galaxy. These things are all temporary. Even the epoch in which the universe contains stars and planets will one day come to an end.</p><p>It is with this in mind that we may be able to perceive daily events in a different light. We have an urge to survive, and we must certainly do our best to correct injustices and live a good life. But viewing all things as temporary may help us recognize more clearly the joy that can be found in small moments that we otherwise might ignore. The smile from a passing stranger. Reading a bedtime story to a child. The warmth of the sun on an upturned face. </p><p>It's all temporary, so take a moment to enjoy the small things. One day they will be gone.</p>Brent Silbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07754865837015410771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003728554674474479.post-5446260841651076122022-09-02T17:18:00.005-07:002022-09-02T17:18:51.487-07:00Values opinions<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu6KtcrzsL5jtJkbB5uIcwg2BtmVsLTX8h6Ae0GNMaPBe-v92ybnOT52WSqPwmU1-yTyDkWUCOQpsQa2xS8YQUeF-dcGPByjktQGfWTx3Sskw1f3wjKoTemjVsbJJ9K4EOHDQtjVrEesBv0uYcVMiAkqHi4cMezAvty3ndXGXXmQAi15OInsK2Hj2zaQ/s1920/Value-Statement.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1276" data-original-width="1920" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu6KtcrzsL5jtJkbB5uIcwg2BtmVsLTX8h6Ae0GNMaPBe-v92ybnOT52WSqPwmU1-yTyDkWUCOQpsQa2xS8YQUeF-dcGPByjktQGfWTx3Sskw1f3wjKoTemjVsbJJ9K4EOHDQtjVrEesBv0uYcVMiAkqHi4cMezAvty3ndXGXXmQAi15OInsK2Hj2zaQ/s320/Value-Statement.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p>Within institutions there is much talk of values. Companies publish values statements. Churches promote values directly derived from religious texts. And schools construct short definitions of acceptable behavior, which collectively sit under the heading: School Values. But what exactly are these "values"? What is the purpose of a values statement within an organization? </p><p>All societies have laws, many of which we accept as necessary for social cohesion. Occasionally one of those laws is found to be outdated and is modified. Values, on the other hand, seem to sit at a different level. They may be used, perhaps, to generate laws. But they, themselves, are designed to be fixed and unchanging. For example, the Catholic value of the "Sancitiy of Life" will never be abandoned. And it sits at the center of some of our laws. We may not be religious, but we can still accept the value that human life ought to be preserved. Over time, laws are adjusted to suit society's better understanding of itself and what counts as "human life", while still maintaining that life is of the highest value.</p><p>Are corporate values the same type of thing? When we see company values listed as: Innovation, The Best People, Customer Commitment, or Personal Accountability, we may find ourselves questioning whether these are universal values or merely opinions about what is good in a certain context. In this way, company values seem to be more like rules that the company values, rather than being values in themselves. If this is true, it is possible that company values may be contrary to true human values - whatever these may be.</p><p>We must be careful, therefore, in accepting values statements without analysis. We should ask ourselves where the values came from; what assumptions underpin them; what outcomes they are being used to promote. We may find that some values are not as valuable as they initially sound.</p><div><br /></div>Brent Silbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07754865837015410771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003728554674474479.post-54694240915537417672022-08-19T17:45:00.006-07:002022-08-19T17:45:54.210-07:00Seeking approval<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoJX_zZpTlJMiXX2jSGDi4K0lYel7LwJkw3JMTwrJvX3z9cDO40o1OdKYWliVdCRQn_CEohpBXkV2ujfQg0KUT1gynepNyWxSTNOQZfAi-zgbm4z4xgrepbKqkeWSFTXpU_1vpuIBaVysNPITZRP_LZIwBHdQgRdgTEhB2v1ZlWk8ughx7YKnK7MXPlw/s2048/lighthouse.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoJX_zZpTlJMiXX2jSGDi4K0lYel7LwJkw3JMTwrJvX3z9cDO40o1OdKYWliVdCRQn_CEohpBXkV2ujfQg0KUT1gynepNyWxSTNOQZfAi-zgbm4z4xgrepbKqkeWSFTXpU_1vpuIBaVysNPITZRP_LZIwBHdQgRdgTEhB2v1ZlWk8ughx7YKnK7MXPlw/s320/lighthouse.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><p>We crave the approval of others. This seems to be part of the human condition. Everyone wants to be liked. And what better signs of approval are there than applause, or trophies, or certificates? We finish our performance and glow as the crowd claps their hands. We adorn our shelves with our hard won trophies, and decorate our walls with certificates that prove our worthiness. All symbols of approval.</p><p>But after the crowd leaves the auditorium, their applause is nothing but a memory - an echo lost in time. Our certificates fade in the sun, slowly degrading to nothing. And our trophies tarnish as the universe inevitably moves towards maximum entropy.</p><p>What does this tell us? Should we not seek the approval of others? Not at all. We need social relationships, and approval is better than disapproval or mere disinterest. But we should put things in perspective. We should be the best person we can be regardless of awards or applause. Those things do not last, and a life pursuing them for their own sake will never bring contentedness. After all, there's always another certificate to be hung on the wall. But how many are required for fulfillment? How many will make us truly happy? Do they really matter?</p><p>Perhaps we should remind ourselves that happiness can be found in our actions rather than the pieces of paper people give us.</p>Brent Silbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07754865837015410771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003728554674474479.post-73812265354677661662022-08-05T19:27:00.001-07:002022-10-02T01:26:43.551-07:00Buying Happiness<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhG5YbT3IBlli-EjngdKPahJz8XclH8rxX653pCT-7uRVmFA1CLuCWyGvF1D0MaYB47uaS-oIeovv6puvEWSOHwNmRmaeUhQtYCaA81ZXWIxglJmg2LwJlMhXWgmmoEJetqFJKx5rBv5xPP4SfZWJj-vikHLi2SJIvDpL1nHpPsTw4PNqF_6fLtNByfzQ/s1280/12998328_10153550263533008_5475005673574328488_o.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1280" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhG5YbT3IBlli-EjngdKPahJz8XclH8rxX653pCT-7uRVmFA1CLuCWyGvF1D0MaYB47uaS-oIeovv6puvEWSOHwNmRmaeUhQtYCaA81ZXWIxglJmg2LwJlMhXWgmmoEJetqFJKx5rBv5xPP4SfZWJj-vikHLi2SJIvDpL1nHpPsTw4PNqF_6fLtNByfzQ/s320/12998328_10153550263533008_5475005673574328488_o.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><br />We spend so much time focusing on material possessions. We constantly check our bank balance. We visit the mall and online shopping stores, carefully scrutinizing products, searching for something... anything that will bring some fulfillment and help fill the void in our lives. But how often do we find that after the initial thrill of the purchase, after that dopamine hit has worn off, the product loses its luster? <br /><br />Perhaps the product itself was not what we were actually looking for.<br /><br />What, then, are we really searching for? Not pieces of plastic. Not pieces of fabric. Not little screens full of icons. These things, in and of themselves, seem hollow. It seems that the thing we really want can't be found in a store. But what is this thing we seek? When we ask ourselves why we buy products, our answer usually refers to "happiness". And, of course, happiness itself is not for sale, so that's why we think we should buy other things to get it. <br /><br />But does happiness actually come from these things? Or does it come from somewhere else? If it doesn't come from the products we purchase, it is no surprise that we are constantly seeking more product. We're never getting what we truly want.<br /><br />Of course, we do need food, drink, and shelter. These things sustain us and put us in a position to seek happiness. And they can be bought at the store. But because happiness itself can't be bought, and because it doesn't come from the products we buy, we need to find it somewhere other than the store. But where?<br /><br />Take a walk in the park or sit in the sun. Maybe go out one night and gaze at the starry sky. Take time; relax; contemplate. You may accidentally find that you no longer need to search the store for this elusive thing we call "happiness".Brent Silbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07754865837015410771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003728554674474479.post-10889707208950558962022-07-10T13:13:00.003-07:002022-07-10T13:13:21.328-07:00Bad luck<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDTnHsTltyCwDJbjnx2xa8sjco1kTFvRtdEpxR2EnAmFmGMDovSZAU0Fq9CBtRFxNT8Yt-ha5u5xohzpcVRmkJP14RWr64TFb7EzaBg1Z8MjuVLAH3iaLlDnE96xh1xIoG0RZtNYJDOpanl5qPVlD--DLmYhf42QPuhmYW5mA-n5nGh6h08H3TUQiOiA/s4032/For_Blog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDTnHsTltyCwDJbjnx2xa8sjco1kTFvRtdEpxR2EnAmFmGMDovSZAU0Fq9CBtRFxNT8Yt-ha5u5xohzpcVRmkJP14RWr64TFb7EzaBg1Z8MjuVLAH3iaLlDnE96xh1xIoG0RZtNYJDOpanl5qPVlD--DLmYhf42QPuhmYW5mA-n5nGh6h08H3TUQiOiA/s320/For_Blog.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><p>We all have bad luck. Sometimes it seems that poor fortune is constantly with us, and that all our worse-case scenarios are playing out. We may think that things couldn't get much worse.</p><p>In these situations it can be wise to pause, and remind ourselves that things can always be worse. And although it seems that things may never go our way again, there is no natural law dictating that our fortune will not change. The universe has nothing against us. It just is as it is. Indifferent.</p><p>So, we must be patient and focus on the things we can affect in our lives. We may then find that our run of poor bad luck comes to an end. </p>Brent Silbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07754865837015410771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003728554674474479.post-68795637616778609052022-07-01T18:36:00.001-07:002022-07-01T18:36:07.965-07:00The most important thing in life<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiidQ_0DO4bVH0aYsIMcIwkGU6Z2rQP_9AgYNP6yP6DMn8RWdmaV3JfYbI7-62rE_K7tSJ6-uhsRRKzSUp8ccZL4NZayIMPjh7XbdlglnenLBkam2wqBcXVs9ezZ9juZy0DtgSMk1VyNQu3Lz950tbpjXNNeuqfO5Uenm0a_z40AKM2-h6XOM79V9grMg/s2048/pic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiidQ_0DO4bVH0aYsIMcIwkGU6Z2rQP_9AgYNP6yP6DMn8RWdmaV3JfYbI7-62rE_K7tSJ6-uhsRRKzSUp8ccZL4NZayIMPjh7XbdlglnenLBkam2wqBcXVs9ezZ9juZy0DtgSMk1VyNQu3Lz950tbpjXNNeuqfO5Uenm0a_z40AKM2-h6XOM79V9grMg/s320/pic.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><p>What's the most important thing in life? Is it the completion of data analysis for your work? Is it your next business presentation? Is it your next pay increase? We may deem these things important while at the same time we have other things waiting for our attention. Our friends. Our our spouses. Our children.</p><p>Our lives are busy. We rush from task to task, trying desperately to get ahead and be successful. But in our day-to-day struggles, we seldom take the time to question what real success actually looks like.</p><p>Life is short, and therefore we need to prioritize the important things. But how do we know what is truly important? We may, perhaps, be guided by imagining how we would like to be remembered after our passing. Ask yourself, do I want to be remembered for my ability to get data analyses completed on time? Do I want to be remembered for my accurate business presentations, which lead to significant pay increases? Or would I prefer to be remembered for my dedication to my children? That I always found time to spend with them. That I was able to help them through the challenges of youth. And that they loved and cherished me as much as I did them. Answering these questions can serve as a useful guide.</p><p>As we move through life, we should therefore take time out to imagine our future eulogy. Doing so can be helpful in putting our struggles in perspective and determining what is the most important thing in life.</p><p>[Photo by Olivia Silby 2022]</p>Brent Silbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07754865837015410771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003728554674474479.post-48455507159203794302022-06-15T14:24:00.004-07:002022-06-15T14:29:17.929-07:00It could be worse<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5-HuWMHLMeeQQnLnLcfVBWlbaHOqxIx3XuquJsl5Um7JIGNBEN_AwQkeanV76ROdc0YL3qlXF-2BDMv739HHzBeYVXZDvmH49YMQcVW23yMScTYeP0oYEtAAjPoVI3t6f1k-HCl8tRxs3iffRfPn25IBe4wZCJfhPFhF1a4n7nNKSf6ST4CoDN29Vjw/s600/Titanic_the_sinking.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="395" data-original-width="600" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5-HuWMHLMeeQQnLnLcfVBWlbaHOqxIx3XuquJsl5Um7JIGNBEN_AwQkeanV76ROdc0YL3qlXF-2BDMv739HHzBeYVXZDvmH49YMQcVW23yMScTYeP0oYEtAAjPoVI3t6f1k-HCl8tRxs3iffRfPn25IBe4wZCJfhPFhF1a4n7nNKSf6ST4CoDN29Vjw/s320/Titanic_the_sinking.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p>Our day-to-day challenges are sometimes overwhelming. As we realize we are losing control of the situation, we throw our hands up and cry, "why me?" This may be a time to pause, remove ourselves, and reflect on what is really going on. Is the situation truly as bad as it seems? Or are we catastrophizing and making it worse in our own minds? Often problems resolve themselves and are quickly forgotten, with or without our panic.</p><p>It can be helpful to consider the challenges other people have faced. Challenges which didn't turn out so well. We might ask ourselves how the captain of the Titanic felt when he came to the realization that he had lost control of the situation. Few of us will ever face that sort of challenge. Perhaps we should keep this image in mind when things get chaotic in our own lives. The image of that sinking ship helps us maintain perspective. From there we can approach our own problems with a different frame of mind - an understanding that things could have been much worse.</p><p>[Image credit: Public Domain, National Maritime Museum]</p>Brent Silbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07754865837015410771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003728554674474479.post-39798903058150409692022-06-04T14:36:00.001-07:002022-06-04T14:36:02.915-07:00Be Virtuous<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimg2CI699dMJTYT_8b2h0GG3m_aKaQajg_9lsIrr286XzSR8vkv03xmhXgMw99XgWL1YZgrixSbZi9J5_i7Zz_uvXb99i1L1A48MteiR9uId0A_Atd-7Pv3baCLS7QG_qE1n4TFuQ2_zER5HuVo2mv2yXUQK-4uQ47DNhX_Ulal6iTri_-rI3bHaNQgA/s2048/hanmer1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimg2CI699dMJTYT_8b2h0GG3m_aKaQajg_9lsIrr286XzSR8vkv03xmhXgMw99XgWL1YZgrixSbZi9J5_i7Zz_uvXb99i1L1A48MteiR9uId0A_Atd-7Pv3baCLS7QG_qE1n4TFuQ2_zER5HuVo2mv2yXUQK-4uQ47DNhX_Ulal6iTri_-rI3bHaNQgA/s320/hanmer1.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><br /><p>Good and bad can happen any day. We may win the lottery. We might be involved in a car accident. We could land our dream job. Our co-workers might gossip behind our back. Positive and negative events all require the same thing. They require us to act admirably and with virtue.</p><p>But what are the virtues? There are four Stoic virtues, which originated with Socrates: Courage; Temperance; Justice; Wisdom.</p><p>Virtues are practical. They are things we can use to guide our daily actions. When faced with events, we must choose our response. Will I act bravely or cowardly? Will I be selfless or selfish? Will I be just or unjust? Will I be wise or foolish? Asking ourselves these questions can guide us to act well in response to the good and bad events that we encounter every day.</p>Brent Silbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07754865837015410771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003728554674474479.post-2276731539093589912022-05-28T14:24:00.000-07:002022-05-28T14:24:01.404-07:00Fear of the future<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfioWFplpxq_cJH8zKvDcVNp82-3ykkmbM5vsGhWsZaiaPwIoBdibTKmGTcXCdQz3OLcieOC4yXoljuijtyZvx6MGKSyGrX3LDXeb1M6QMpP1r8QIRtZdBDbw9XFtZQb2XLmCT3G_-HunHjy4oJds0obhiZOcWq9SnYhoKBtatW0r1rA-pFreUsmbk8Q/s2048/hanmer2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfioWFplpxq_cJH8zKvDcVNp82-3ykkmbM5vsGhWsZaiaPwIoBdibTKmGTcXCdQz3OLcieOC4yXoljuijtyZvx6MGKSyGrX3LDXeb1M6QMpP1r8QIRtZdBDbw9XFtZQb2XLmCT3G_-HunHjy4oJds0obhiZOcWq9SnYhoKBtatW0r1rA-pFreUsmbk8Q/s320/hanmer2.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><br /><p>Many of our fears and anxieties exist in the imagination. We ruminate over future events that may never come to be. I might be late to work. Inflation might increase my mortgage rate. That small bump might be cancer. We don't know that these events will become reality, but in obsessing over them we limit the joy we find in the present moment.</p><p>Should we then ignore the future and focus only on the here and now? This is a tempting solution, but it may leave us unprepared for life's challenges. Perhaps a better solution is to underscore the word "might". There are many possible futures. Some become reality, but most do not. We should prepare for possible futures objectively. If we rehearse these events by somehow removing ourselves, then we can prepare without torturing ourselves with anxiety. Play out future scenarios in the mind as if they are happening to someone else. Doing this requires no fear or suffering.</p><p>We know bad things happen. So, we should not be surprised when things go wrong. Preparation can help us deal with bad luck when it occurs. The trick is to avoid fearing things that may never happen.</p><div><br /></div>Brent Silbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07754865837015410771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5003728554674474479.post-34030102993131273652022-05-14T14:41:00.005-07:002022-05-14T14:41:38.034-07:00Be your own best advisor<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-MaJ6AKCIpHeKK_QaeIcEywzqbJXUxD-m3rEa1-FEiNSiVAAp4HD78FK0t6lb9qY9r4omn_oGbzHjbGpTXHXM37iNC2UZGHcFxTAFBtGHgwGAxM2vW7ufn_mmr5bMr6o-wg5DIzGbatkoRzdcdQ_YD8K-YO_G7Xw57oEXgcDeEyVlW2Z7xSISZ6Zd1w/s2048/hanmer2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-MaJ6AKCIpHeKK_QaeIcEywzqbJXUxD-m3rEa1-FEiNSiVAAp4HD78FK0t6lb9qY9r4omn_oGbzHjbGpTXHXM37iNC2UZGHcFxTAFBtGHgwGAxM2vW7ufn_mmr5bMr6o-wg5DIzGbatkoRzdcdQ_YD8K-YO_G7Xw57oEXgcDeEyVlW2Z7xSISZ6Zd1w/s320/hanmer2.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><br /><p>Bad things happen. And short-term problems can seem the most tragic. We catastrophize. I lost all my work when the computer crashed; my car won't start, so I'll never make it to my appointment; spilling that sauce ruined my only decent shirt. Why me? Life is so unfair. </p><p>But when these things happen to other people, we have a different response. Our detachment helps put problems into perspective. We calmly remind our friend that the computer auto-saves; that a bus drives past every 10 minutes; that they have many other shirts. There are very few problems with no solution.</p><p>Perhaps it is part of the human condition to judge events more severely when they happen to ourselves rather than to other people. That's why it helps to practice detachment. We should try to remember how we respond when bad events happen to someone else. When you're faced with a difficult event, detach yourself. Imagine that it has happened to your friend. Then, give yourself the advice you would offer that friend. Be calm, and help yourself to put things into perspective. Be your own best advisor.</p>Brent Silbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07754865837015410771noreply@blogger.com